On May 25, 1991, which was the day after my 9th birthday, I had a birthday party that combined my two favorite things at the time: swimming in Grandma’s swimming pool in D’lo, Mississippi, and The Little Mermaid. I made Little Mermaid party invitations and had a Little Mermaid birthday cake, and received a Little Mermaid sleeping bag as a gift from my Grandma, who is perfect and knows exactly what her Sherahfish wanted for her fancy swim-o-rama 9th birthday extravaganza.
The Little Mermaid was my very favorite movie because I was obsessed with becoming a famous pop singer from about age 8 - 14. The Little Mermaid got to swim all day and sing all day, which I felt was pretty dope. I knew all the words to the movie because I probably watched it every day. I also made up all kinds of Little Mermaid-style songs that I only sang underwater while swimming around like a fish, but I was embarrassed about this hobby so it was just my secret. Later I grew the fuck up and got more punk rock and moved on to serious music like Garth Brooks No Fences (my first tape purchase, for which I saved up and bought my first walkman for $17) and Debbie Gibbs and Expose and Mariah Carey.
But I remember really loving Ursula from The Little Mermaid. This gif kind of captures one of the reasons I loved her - this movement has remained stuck in my mind for all this time. I remember her shaking her giant evil tits and saying to my brothers, “Someday, when I’m older, I will have giant evil tits like Ursula. And I will shake them around like that. And it will be awesome. You’ll see.”
I’m still waiting for them to come in. I’m sure it’ll happen. Pretty sure any day now.